DEALING WITH GASLIGHTING

*DEALING WITH GASLIGHTING* 

BY JENNIFER NWOSU 

The total well being of an individual largely depends on what the person accepts as their reality and this can also be influenced by interpersonal relationships. An individual can thrive meaningfully if they have a good support system especially from the family unit. 

It is not a guarantee however, that a family support system can make a person thrive because, some systems are built to make people go through more hurt than they can imagine.

These situations are likely to be when gaslighting exists. Gaslighting is a psychological manipulative trap that gets repeated over time that it becomes an established pattern. There, the powerful gaslighter, makes the victim( the gaslightee) see that everything about their reality, character, body type, choices, decisions and sanity is distorted. This is how the gaslighter gains power over that one.

It can be a confusing situation because, there is that refusal to accept that someone who loves you, will reduce you to second guess yourself. In such relationships, psychological safety never can exist because, it is an endless loop of emotions.

Of course, it's never heavy; it comes out as "jokes" or deep concern. It can also come as you not meeting up enough and making you feel less than you should because you are not doing things properly or timely.

Gaslighting is not limited to romantic relationships. It exists in parent-children, sibling - sibling, husband - wife relationships. The ones who have built a bond of trust, love and care will also make deflections to an individual. They start with body shaming, certainty over the victim( I know more about things than you do), humiliation of individuals choices, control and destabilizing the person.

The attacks and minimization of an individual, sets of a complex long period of self doubt, longing for escape and feeling content to remain less than one should.

It doesn't have to be a time of trauma for anyone but some people have less mind power so, they live and shrink with this emotional devastation. However, the major solution is to cut off from the toxic person but how many are ready to break ties with societal norms of family and marriage. If the individual is not strong willed or financially stable , this might be challenging. That's why the gaslightee will always be entrapped in the vicious cycle.

If this is the situation, then these options, will be a better solution. Check your feelings. What is important is you and not someone else. Accept you are been gaslighted, identify what triggers these issues so you can avoid them, don't give room for a power struggle, set boundaries and limit time with that person.

Like the saying goes, you have a shot at life, don't let it slip by so easy.